Life lived to the full has many components that often feel in competition with each other. People generally fall into three modes of living, surviving, stabilizing and thriving. In survival mode people are primarily concerned with physical needs of food, housing, and security. As we fulfill these needs and move into a stabilizing modal living additional needs begin to surface. Mental, emotional and relational needs become the primary focus that replace the survival needs. Relational nutrients are foundational to building the stabilizing life that allows humans to flourish. Our ability to work collaboratively with others is what has enabled us to build a functioning society and has also allowed us to begin asking the questions of a self-actualization, the questions of meaning and purpose.
Many people plateau in the stabilizing modal living, struggling to balance survival needs with the additional load of the stabilizing needs. Psychologists have found that relational needs are the building blocks that lead to both emotional and mental fulfillment. In my work with high performing clients I have found that many people get caught in the business of success at the cost of their personal relational needs. This eventually leads to a crisis that takes the person into the dark night of the soul. In order to thrive, high performers have to prioritize their beingness in balance with their doingness. This can feel like “doing nothing” and a “waste of time.” Often times we are so accustomed to being busy that the stillness found in being can be difficult at first. This experience causes many to remain at a frenetic pace of life until the crisis emerges. Research suggests that those who do prioritize relationship time experience lower medical issues, higher productivity, longer career ascension and higher average levels of wealth.
The good news for those in financial services is the foundation of our business is relationships. We must make relationship building the primary focus of our functional time. This leads to a life filled with impact that leads to purpose and meaning. Though challenging in the early years, our career bears fruit not often found in modern work life. As we deepen the relationship with our clients we experience increase meaning as we mature into the career. In order to help facilitate relationship within the firm we are holding monthly town halls to allow us to connect virtually as a whole and in person as a local community. We are also committed to quarterly firm wide in person events to offer you the opportunity to grow the bonds across locations. In between Stephanie W. Is leading the effort of a community board that will allow for various activities that you can participate in with your office mates.
Included is a tool from the Townsend Leadership Program. This tool is effective at facilitating communication of relational needs for those who want to learn how to connect effectively.
Action Step: Prioritize professional relationship within the firm. Schedule two 15-minute virtual coffee meetings with peers from other offices per week to connect and share.